HORSESHOE BEND

10:10:40 PM EDT

             

I cried today.....

Amanda came over with Wyatt this morning. She came walking through my bedroom door and said, "Mama, I have something to show you..."

She set the baby car seat on my blanket chest and began wrestling little 'Y' out of it.  She got all the safety latches undone, picked Wyatt up and turned him around to face me....and said, "Mama, talk to him"....and what came next is something I will never forget ....never til my dying day.

I looked at my little grandson there with his mama and he gazed up at me with those beautiful little blue eyes....He was so quiet... as if he knew a secret and he was preparing himself to tell me...

I leaned close to him and laughingly said, "Y, did you come to see your old Granny??" and as soon as the words were out of my mouth....

My little grandson smiled at me...and actually LAUGHED out loud!!!!

I am crying as I write this...

Do you know how beautiful those little giggles sounded to me??? Do you know how deeply that baby's little smile is burned into my memory now? I grabbed my little grandchild and hugged him so tightly...and as I was crying these tears of great joy and gratitude for this precious little miracle from God.....he looked up at me and giggled again!

Amanda was alarmed and asked me why I was crying so...and I tried to explain that for soooooooo many years...

I had made peace with the fact that I would never have a grandchild to hold, or love....and here, right here before my very eyes was my grandchild...

and he was smiling and laughing at this crazy Granny....

All I could think of was that my sweet Danny left this world not ever knowing, and not being able to share this special moment....

 I too never thought I would live to see this day....

But I felt Danny's presence so strongly as I held my little "Y" that he may as well have been right there with me....

Thank You God....Thank YOU.

GOD BLESS YOU ALL.

 

 

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1:31:42 AM EDT
Hearing rain/storms/tornado warnings/70's

        

Is anyone else as tired of all this election bull as I am? It seems like November will never get here....and I feel burned out already.

I finally made the decision to drop my health insurance....well I say I made the decision, but actually my finances made it for me. Oh sure there were ways I could have saved a few dollars here and there but cutting out and cutting down, but not near enough to pay the huge increase of the monthly premium. I am not going to lie and say that I am not scared, but I do still feel like God will take care of me....He always has.

Look who came over to see me today!

              

                Now isn't that the sweetest little fellow ?

I will be so glad when the surgeon removes the hernias ...the one on his stomach is growing bigger....I worry so much about it...He's got a good appetite though....

                                 See?

                

 He loves sweet potatoes!He loves blowing bubbles with them too! lol

I went to the Good Will store and found these cute little Ginger Bread babies!

               

                  I only gave a dollar for them!

I had went trying to find a baby swing for Wyatt to use at my house. The lady there said they had just sold one the day before for $4.00! (They are $89.00 new in the stores.)

I did find this neat little bouncer seat that I only gave $4.00 for. It vibrates and when he kicks the seat, the top part lights up and blinks and even plays music!!! I took the seat cover off and washed it... and also washed and sanitized the whole seat.

              

You know I never thought I could love Wyatt as much as I do.

That is so sad about that little girl missing in Fla. Something is terribly wrong when a Mother waits over a month to report her baby missing.

My headache has returned so I will leave for now.

GOD BLESS YOU ALL.

 

 

 

 

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10:15:44 PM EDT
Hearing 90's / sunny

            

Today is my birthday. I was born on August 19, 1953...which means that in the heat of summer my mama was in hard labor....giving birth to my fat little 8 lb. 8 oz. self....My mama would tell me all during my childhood that when I was born, the doctor said I was by far the prettiest baby in the hospital...and bless my little heart, I always believed her! lol 

My siblings always told me how; while mama was yet still in the hospital with me,  they sat out under the mulberry tree plotting a way to get rid of me...They did not want another baby around...there were already enough little hungry mouths sitting around their table...they did not want another one to have to share their food with.

I can remember way back...a lot farther back in years than what I can remember of even yesterday...One of my first memories is, believe it or not...is mama giving me a baby bottle and the milk being sour...Keep in mind that back then I think some babies stayed on the bottle longer than they do today...but I was small enough that I did not have the words to tell her that the milk was sour....so I only cried and would hold the bottle back to her......she, being mama...figured it out by tasting the milk and opening up a new can of evaporated milk...

I can remember way before I was old enough to start first grade, mama making me take a nap in the middle of the day...and me fussing that I did not want to...but as soon as I would lay across the bed and mama put that old worn blanket across me, I would be falling asleep.

I can remember how cool those old wooden floors in that small house on Horseshoe Bend always felt to my little bare feet...even in the summer time. The walls there were huge wood planks and I would prop my feet on them at night to cool them. At night when we were in bed, we could see the shadows of the light bulbs that hung down from the ceiling. Their shadows would be swinging gently back and forth across the wooden walls from the breeze that came through the open door. Yeah, back then you could even keep your door open at night...leaving  just the screen door closed....and you didn't worry about someone breaking in and you could hear the crickets and the frogs and all the night noises of the country.

I can still smell the odor that the old iron gave off while mama ironed our clothes at night...hear the hissing as she shook water from a bottle onto them....hear the metal ironing board creaking with each swipe of the iron.

Anytime I look back on my life...I always see my mama....I use to think it was my daddy who was the strong one...but as I have grown older, I have come to realize that it was actually my mama who was the strong one...Don't get me wrong...My daddy worked two and three jobs all his life...working with two huge hernias hanging from his lower  sides...He had one day off a week...and on that day he worked the garden and cut our grass with a swing blade...

but Mama...

My mama worked day in and day out...from before sun-up to way past midnight...without any pay...and most times without any gratitude either...For we, like most kids, always took for granted what all she did for us . You just don't know what all this lady that is our mama, did without and put up with for the sake of her children...We were so very poor...and yet I can not remember ever a time that my mama gave up.

My life has not been an easy one. From the very beginning I have had to overcome a lot of physical handicaps.  My life is far from easy now...and the day that Danny died, well, I wanted to die too....but my Mama taught me  a long time ago...not in words... but by her very actions...

We don't give up...We keep going.

Thank you God for my mama...the best Birthday gift of all.

Happy Birthday to me!

GOD BLESS YOU ALL.

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10:52:40 PM EDT
Hearing low to mid 90's/ sunny

                 

                       Wyatt in his overalls!

We have been having some cooler weather here lately and I love it! We have been in the high 80's and low 90's ... Now to some that may still be hot, but when you have been having 105 degree temps, then this actually feels like spring to me.

                 

                         This year's tomatoes

This year I have not had as many tomatoes off my tomato plants as in years before, I am still getting a few tomatoes and actually have some more blooms coming on. What with the scare about tomatoes that you buy at the grocery store, I am glad I did plant some for us.

I have been having a few health issues that I am going to have to get checked out...I am bad about putting off going to the doctor . My regular doctor had health problems and had to go on an early retirement, so I really don't have a doctor now. Anyone have any ideas about how to find a good doctor ???

                  

                  Wyatt looking at my computer!

Amanda, Wyatt and I went to church again today. Wyatt did really good and as before all who attended had to hold him! This is usually a small church congregation, but today we had a celebration for the Preacher's 25th anniversary with the church, so there were a few more attending. There was a man sitting right in front of me that had a shirt on just like the  green plaid one Danny use to wear...and  I really had to concentrate on not crying...

We had a covered dish down stairs afterwards. I took fried ham slices, homemade macaroni and cheese, broccoli casserole, fresh cut corn, and also corn on the cob. We had good fellowship, good times with friends and family, and good food...Little Wyatt loved hearing the special music and being held and loved on! He goes back to the doctor Tuesday and Wednesday this week. One is the pediatrician and the other is the baby surgeon to check on his hernias.

Know anyone that drinks that energy drink called RED BULL? You may want to ask your teens if they do...It was on the news tonight, that scientists have found out that directly after drinking just one can, a person's blood gets "sticky" and they are in danger of having a heart attack or a stroke. The company says that they are going to start investigations on it.

Well, I am sitting here nodding my head off, so I am going to close this out...Funny....back in my younger days, I use to laugh to see my mama nodding off at the supper table or while she sat in her recliner...

GOD BLESS YOU ALL.

 

 

 

 

 

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1:17:47 PM EDT
Hearing high 90'S / hot and muggy

           

              Thanks Missie for this graphic..wish I were there!

This Georgia heat is taking it's toll on me. I can not take this humidity and heat like I use to. I will be so glad to see the fall of the year come in!

My boss lady's husband came up to the BBQ yesterday and guess what he brought? Some homemade peach ice cream!!!He found time in his busy work day to stop and make us some from the fresh peaches they had... I had not had peach ice cream since I was a little bitty girl sitting on Aunt Maggie's front porch waiting on Uncle Rob to churn it! Being in Georgia, nearly every home seem to have a peach tree back then.

Lord, that first taste of ice cream yesterday, brought back sooooo many memories ... Their house is still right down the street from me, but Aunt Maggie and Uncle Rob have been gone to Heaven for many years ...'Others' live there now...'others' who don't care about the house, or the flowers, nor about making ice cream for the neighborhood children....so sad.

Most afternoons when we kids walked down the street, Aunt Maggie would be through doing the supper dishes and was sitting on her front porch swing... singing; "I'll Fly Away" ....I can close my eyes and still see her...and actually hear her sweet voice singing..."Some glad morning when this life is over...I'll fly away...to a land on God's celestial shore....I'll fly away...."

I can see all of us little children....Kat, Danny, me , Beth, and Connie...Denise and Jane...Sonny and Dennis...all of us little Mill Town kids, watching Uncle Rob intensely and  waiting for that first taste of heaven....Wonder how many times we would ask..."Is it done yet??" and he would patiently explain over and over why it took so long....never scolding us for bugging him. This neighborhood was so different then....back when we were small....

Even though I lived on Horseshoe Bend until I was nearly a teen, I spent many a day on this street with my Aunt Chet and my "friends in town". I always use to think they were "rich kids"...cause they had an inside bathroom and real paint on their walls...a pretty kitchen sink with running water...

Right today when I smell IVORY DISH LIQUID,  I automatically think of Aunt Chet. Her house smelled like it because that is all she ever used to do dishes...sometimes I will pick a bottle up in the grocery store, pop the top up and sniff it;  just to bring back the memories.

Wyatt weighs 9 pounds! Now, if we could just get the hernias taken care of, get him to poop on his own, and lose the gas, we will be home free. 

                                 

I know I have got to get up from here and start making out the checks to pay my bills, but Lord,  I don't want to give my money away yet, I just got paid yesterday! The first of the month comes so quick, doesn't it? lol

Before I go, I want to share this real cute joke I found in my email box from Sue today...Sue , you got me laughing ...and I thank you!

 

         'Three Grandmas'
Three old mischievous Grandmas were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home.
About then an old Grandpa walked by, and one of the old Grandmas yelled out saying, 'We bet we can tell exactly  how old you are.'
The old man said, 'There ain't no way you can guess it,you old
fools.'
One of the old Grandmas said, 'Sure we can! Just drop your pants and
undershorts and we can tell your exact age.'
Embarrassed just a little, but anxious to prove they couldn't do it, he dropped his drawers.
The Grandmas asked him to first turn around a couple of times and to jump up and down several times.
Then they all piped up and said, 'You're 87 years old!'
Standing with his pants down around his ankles, the old gent asked,
'How in the world did you guess?'
Slapping their knees & grinning from ear to ear, all 3 old ladies
happily yelled in unison--------

 'We were at your birthday party yesterday!'

 

GOD BLESS YOU ALL.

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11:00:34 PM EDT
Hearing HOT-SUNNY-90'S

            

Wyatt had to go to the doctor today for a checkup. He has gained up to 8 pounds and 1 ounce! The doctor was pleased with his weight gain and took him off the neo-sure formula for preemies and put him on regular formula. Amanda is so disappointed that she could not produce enough milk for him herself, but like I told her, at least she tried, right?

After the doctor visit, Amanda and I took Wyatt to see his great Aunt Dorris.

            

She had such a good time holding him and you know what?  The little bugger would not wake up for nothing while we were there to let Aunt Dorris see his eyes! lol

              

Amanda took Wyatt to see my mama Monday.           

             

I had to run out there to sign some papers for the treatment plan for mama's legs, which I have to do ever so often...

             

Everytime he sees his great-grandma, he will get real quiet and wide eyed...I love the way he looks right at her and seems to listen so intently to her.

I cooked supper tonight. I had BBQ chicken, fresh turnip greens, fresh squash, and thickning potatoes with cornbread, biscuits and sweet tea. I took Dorris a huge plate for her supper too.

I was shocked at the price of potatoes yesterday at the grocery store...They were $4.98 for 5 pounds...Thank goodness they had a 10 pound bag on sale for $5.98! Everywhere I looked in the store, all the prices had went up, way up...

Everything had gotten higher...I don't know how much longer the working poor will be able to meet all their expenses. The way things are going...We will have to be cutting back, that is for sure.

            

Speaking ofthe working poor...I am almost sure that I will be dropping my health insurance ...I have did the math over and over and I keep coming up with more money going out for the insurance than what I am getting out of it...I have not been feeling too good lately and it worries me to death to have to let it go...But Half my check a month is just too much for me right now...and if I did get sick and have to use it, I would not be able to work, so I would not be able to pay the premium.

Don't get me wrong.........I still know that God is watching over me, so I  will not give up hope.

GOD BLESS YOU ALL

 

 

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11:34:53 PM EDT
Hearing 90's/sunny/slight breeze

             

Yay!! My little grandbaby Wyatt has gained weight! He now weighs 7 lbs. and 10 oz.!!! And he is 19 inches long ! Don't you just love his expression in this picture? lol

I am watching Prime Time Crime as I type and I shocked beyond words from what I am seeing....I never thought I would live to see the day that young girls would be kidnapped and sold into sex slavery in the United States...at truck stops yet. How can this be going on without someone seeing it ?

I worked in a cafe that was open 24/7  when I was 14 years old. Back then the interstate had yet to come through our little town, so we got all the truck drivers going from Atlanta to Augusta and beyond....and of course there were some truckers that flirted, but nothing like the evil things that are going on now... Most all were very decent people with hearts of gold. Maybe I am naive, but this really shocked and saddened me.

The BBQ had to raise all it's prices today. Although I didn't work, I got the prices from my boss and typed up new 'to go' menus. The price of cabbage ( used for slaw) has more than doubled...matter of fact just about everything has...Oil rules the world...and it is hurting everyone. The thing is tomorrow when I go into work I am going to hear people fussing over and over about the price hike....Knowing the wholesale price of all that they buy,  actually I feel like my boss and her family are cutting themselves shorter than they should...

             

My Blue cross and Blue Shield Health ins. raised it's premium on me in April as they do every year...and then I get a letter today saying they wereraising it again in Sept. over $50.00 more because I went into a new 'age bracket'.....I am mighty afraid this time I can not keep it...because now it will be over half my monthly income...I can not do it...and I am so scared that just as soon as I drop it, I will need it....God help me. I truly don't know what the working poor will do if something does not turn this country around very soon.

On  a brighter note...I have little Wyatt...and I got to baby sit him last night so that Amanda and his daddy could go out and eat alone for the first time since he was born! They did not stay gone long enough~! SO when they come back, they said I could keep him a couple more hours! I was so happy. He smiled at me...and my heart just melted....I love him so much.

             

                      

          Wyatt and Mommie 07/14/08

Monday was Danny's birthday. He would have been 54 years old. He should be here to enjoy his grandbaby...I miss him so much...Not a day goes by that I don't think of him. Whenever I go somewhere, I still to this day, find myself wanting to hurry and get home so I can fix his supper...He loved my homemade biscuits..and I tried to make them on the days I was off work...Maybe it sounds crazy, but I loved to watch him eat! I loved cooking for him and doing little things for him. He not only was the love of my life, and my husband...but he was also my best friend...a very real part of me is missing....

GOD BLESS YOU ALL.

 

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9:33:38 PM EDT
Hearing 90's/humid/hot/sunny/afternoon thunderstorm

            

I finally got my replacement phone fixed...Seems it had not been programmed at all before it was shipped. I even got all my pictures and contacts back !!! yay!

I also got the photos of my grand baby and my mama uploaded or downloaded ( I always confuse my self about this!) into my computer. 

            

I was hungry when my great - grandma first saw me!!!

            

 Wyatt seems to be clapping here!

            

Mama kept asking if he was a little girl and could not remember for long when we would tell her his name... but it didn't matter to Wyatt one bit!

            

My mama, my daughter and my grand baby....

I never thought that I would live to see this day....

Thank You, thank You....Dear Lord, from the bottom of my heart ...

Thank You for this sweet little  miracle.

 

         

GOD BLESS YOU ALL.

 

 

 

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8:43:36 PM EDT
Hearing RAIN/THUNDERSTORMS/90'S

I noticed that I mistakenly printed "great-grandmother" under the picture of her and Wyatt in the last entry...I had to go back and edit that, because she is actually his great-great grandmother!

                

This is one of Wyatt's great-grandmothers! This is Danny's mama holding him the day he came home! This picture is priceless!!

I also have a picture of my mama holding him but I am having trouble putting it in here and also on the computer~! She held him the whole time we were there and he was wide awake...and never once even grunted! Just kept staring at his great grandma! I honestly believe that little babies sense things. As soon as I can get the pictures uploaded I will put them in here.

               

Little Wyatt with a Tye Baby Tiger that a good friend here in J-LAnd sent to him the other day!!! It is sooooooo soft and cudly and ust about bigger than him!!! lol lol

               

Even that little 4 oz bottle looks bigger than he does! lol

I had to call Verizon about my cell phone...It had started acting up, but I really liked the style phone,  so they sent me one just like it today. ...The only bad thing is...So far I can not get it to do anything....It keeps showing"Initial programming needed"...I don't know what the heck that is...so looks like I will be calling them again...

:-(  

So I might as well let this be a short entry and try to get the phone going before tomorrow.

GOD BLESS YOU ALL.

 

 

 

 

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4:29:42 PM EDT
Hearing raining/thunderstorm/seventies

   

Wyatt and his great - great- grandmother-Danny's grandmother.

We have a roaring thunderstorm going on right now, so I may get knocked off line before I get this entry in; but I am going to try anyway. :-)

I have just gotten back from seeing Wyatt! ( You knew this was going to be about Wyatt didn't you??? lol )

I hope you know that for a while this journal will, more than likely, gravitate toward him....Some may say; 'good gosh......everyone has grandchildren that they love...yours is no more special than mine'...and that is rightfully so...

But you know, my feelings have always seemed to run so much deeper than the norm....

     

I will never be able to explain here, nor on paper, the feelings that flood my heart and soul when I look at this child...It is the type feelings that only one's heart can communicate to another heart....

For when I look down on this tiny little baby that is the child of my child....I am overwhelmed with a love that I have never experienced before...

In his face I can see, not only his daddy and his mama....but also his grandma, his granddaddy, his uncles, and his aunts....

I have learned so many lessons from this wee little babe that is only two weeks old...

Like how, no matter how dark the night may seem...the sun will shine again someday...Maybe not tomorrow or the day after...but someday.

I have learned that even though you have lost the love of your life and you think that life itself is 'not worth a damn anymore'; one day, when you least expect it, God will find a way to prove you wrong.

I have learned that just because you think that there are no more miracles for you in God's plans....that doesn't mean that that is what God thinks.

I look at my grandchild and I see the very continuance of life...I see hope renewed...because although death may have laid claim to my beloved husband's body...

It could not break the circle of life that God saw fit to continue.

Because God in His mercy has given to us, as living proof ....this tiny little person named Wyatt Kelvin Daniel Kitchens....

I have come to know and come to believe  what I have seen for myself...

What God had been trying to tell me all along...

It is not ever over....

Life does go on.

GOD BLESS YOU ALL.

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